Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
