Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
