just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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