Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
