conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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