You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
