it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
So. Much. Porn.
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