Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
