she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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