Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
