Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
