Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
