I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just pee around me
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
