wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
