At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
