Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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