If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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