Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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