im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
