dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I cut my penus on the lid.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
