Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
