We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
