Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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