I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize