Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
