I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
