I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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