he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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