plz talk dirty to me
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
