i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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