i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
