Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
