I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
