Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
