Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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