Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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