I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Randomize
