i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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