Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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