I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
