You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
