If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
