i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
only you would photoshop your dick
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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