Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
