I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
