we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
