dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
