Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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