I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
