do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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