Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize