the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
