i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
whose ass print is on the piano?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
