That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
kristin has been a bad kristin
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
