Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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