just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
