Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
