Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
