I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
