He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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